First of all I was a strong willed child!
(confession: I still am) So I know it when I see it. I have a strong willed son, and believe me it is hard to understand what that means unless you have a strong willed child of your own. Being an aunt since 7 with twenty three nieces and nephews, I saw my share of different temperaments and personality. Passive, compliant, rambunctious, prone to anger, prone to sensitivity… and on…and on. I read the New Dare to discipline when my daughter was 4. It helped me so much in regards to a process of using punishment as a guide and teaching and the process of discipline with a child when they are wayward. I believe being an involved and consistent parent take a ton of work, and when you don’t have any experience or examples it is even tougher. Since my daughter was very young, I have searched tirelessly for information to teach me wise parenting. I look at the results of others and take from the ones who are successfully producing mature, strong, honest, loving, and respectful children, not from the gurus, or popular society. I don’t listen to people who do not have children. I glean from tons of great books and broadcasts on my focus on the family app and Family Talk on Satellite XM radio and those I find when looking for other mentors around me.I do this because of my lack of example in my own child hood and with my own mother, and because I am so determined I will not settle for good enough. I’m glad that by guidance and prayer I have found wonderful resources because I never wanted to have children before I had my first, and probably because of my own experience as a strong willed child and a parent who was narcissistic, controlling, and abusive in many ways. I figured what was the point? I’m too selfish and I wouldn’t do well anyway because I had a poor example. God had other plans, so I was given a wonderful blessing in my two children and they have taught me so much in humility and even my own growth as an individual. If you have one or are suspicious you may have one, because they seemed to have come into the world with their dukes up, then you must read or listen to The New strong willed child, by Dr. James Dobson. It is a life saver to encourage and support parents of strong willed children. I do admit I was probably very difficult because I remember being a fighter inside from a very young age. So I think my battle of the wills with my son is definitely a pretty equal match. Although he is a boy, and from my observations as an aunt and mother boys are definitely the more wild ones even if they are mild mannered.